Questions for the Danes in my Life, with Illustrations

Monday, August 26th, 2019

Copenhagen, Denmark

So I've now been here a few weeks, and I just have a few questions about Denmark and Danish culture. Hang with me here. 

1. Why do most Danes seem to do everything fairly leisurely, but then the second I get in the bike lane, where I actually want to do something leisurely, it's like it's the freaking Tour de France? I'm telling you it's a sink or swim, eat or be eaten vibe in that bike lane and it is NOT for the faint of heart! (Also are all Danes born with the leg muscles to handle all that biking because my body is revolting and in a constant state of slight muscular discomfort.) 

Live picture of the Copenhagen bike lane

2. So I've done some swimming here and I love it. I've heard a lot of Danes do this in the winter too... Is that for real? Like, do people still actually do that? Can I still swim outside in the cold, in December, without being a weirdo? ... Do you recommend it? 

Winter swim?

3. How often do local Copenhageners actually go to Tivoli? Is it like a local park that you stroll through every few days or like a Disneyland, "I've been once in my life" type of thing? Is it better than Bakken? I know Bakken was first but it's like, the lesser-known celebrity sibling. Like Tivoli is to the Jonas Brothers as Bakken is to Frankie Jonas. 

4. Here's a big one. I read in my Danish textbook that the Little Match Boy is a metaphor for all of Denmark, but then I read the Little Match Boy and I'm coming up blank. Can anyone offer any insight? Because the Match Boy seems like #TheWorst and Denmark seems like #TheBest. So basically an old woman offers him free gold and then he takes it and kills her, then steals her magic dogs with eyes the size of the Round Tower and uses them to continually steal the fair princess while she sleeps, and then he has the dogs kill her parents so that they don't hang her and he and the princess rule side-by-side happily ever after? I'm very confused, but there could 100% be something lost in translation here. 

Round tower eyes?

5. Uhhhhhh... What is this thing? I absolutely love that it exists and I definitely jumped off it, but I don't think that's its purpose? My theories include: water-skate board ramp, kayak slide, regular but splintery slide? Tube slide? ... Water ski jump? Very confused. 

6. Now, a working theory. Not based on any science, but on some great qualitative data from observation ;) During the day, it's kinda hard to small-talk with a lot of the Danish people we've interacted with. But at night, it's waaaaaay easier. People will just walk right up to you. Full 180. Ready to socialize. The two young men who were our waiters this evening said it was because (grossly generalized) after one drink the Danes loosen up, and Americans are just already there, no matter what time of day or level of alcohol. True? False? 50/50? 

7.  Is it common to include play-based and experiential learning in all Danish schools? Because if so, if I have children, I'm sending them to Danish school, because that's awesome. (Actually, there seems to be a v healthy parenting attitude in general here, and it's just cool to watch.)

Some irl play-based learning

8. And probably the most important question of all... How do I get a beautiful Danish man to drive me around in a Christiania bike? Because I see that all. the. time. Do I have to marry a Danish man for this to happen? Is that something all Danish husbands do for their wives? Is this something I should think about when considering a life partner? Is this reason enough to marry a Danish man? 

My danish husband and I

Yes, so these are the thoughts keeping me up at night. Any and all answers are very much welcome. 

Hej hej, 

Cristiana 

P.S. This blog is slowly turning into a low-budget comic book and I am (not) sorry (expect that I spent an hour crafting these beautiful images... I am a little sorry about that)